Yeah, I went to Dr Chan finally today!
He told me that I have depression. As I expected. He told me not to think of my babies as babies. They didn't have nerves and feelings yet! They were just embryos. We just did the same thing like many other parents did. We all don't want them to suffer more. I told him that I've realized my feelings of hating to see babies and to hear pregnancy recently. They are getting stronger...I just hate them! The feeling of jealousy seems overwhelming as well!
Honey and I then went to a vegetarian take-away store(三得素食) to buy something good to eat. After that, we went uptairs to Commercial Book Stores to buy books. I bought one about how to keep pores fine and clean. We also bought the 3M Electric Desktop Paper shredder. Though it's a bit slow and it has limitation, it's still better than the manual one. Lastly, we went home by taxi. On the way home, near Hung Hom, I saw a huge rainbow hanging across the sky for a few seconds. Wow, it's beautiful! as the taxi moved forward, we lost the track of it. It's been such a long time taht I haven't see one, a huge one like this. I remember I used to see one after rain at my childhood home in Homantin. Actually, I know that the one I saw today started at Homantin and ended in Hung Hom.
The RAINBOW is just a sign of hope to me. It matters a lot to me. Thank YOU!
photo taken from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kishimi/994691714/
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