This is what Asta said on Wednesday night. "You are not bad, actually, you are quite good!...Why do you always look down on yourself? Don't empower the influence of your mom and dad's negativeness on you, you have choice and power to control and ignore them."
To be frank, everytime we met, I felt panicked because I always thought that I was the same, no self-growth. But everytime Asta would have something new and improvement made in her life.I just envied. The old Asta would just despise my staying-the-same situation!
Nevertheless, the chat we had that night was wonderful. I've started to see the real Asta that we are the same, fragile and need love and healing. It is the first time I've ever felt that we are close enough to share. I see changes in her, me of course! I see a brand new Asta. Yeah, It was bravo to see that Asta did listen and understand my feelings. I just felt like crying at that time! (I did cry a bit!)
Her words of encouragement and understanding have empowered me a lot. Thank God for everything. May God bless our families with abundant love and peace from YOU. Amen.
2009年7月10日 星期五
Don't Assume You Know It All
The Message--Proverbs 3
5-6
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.
NIV-Proverbs 3
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight. [a]
Lord, thanks for reminding! I love you(at least learning to!)
5-6
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.
NIV-Proverbs 3
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight. [a]
Lord, thanks for reminding! I love you(at least learning to!)
the congi is HYPERACTIVE
What an irritating noise! I just can bear no more and went uptairs to express my anger just now! The man living upstairs is called Mr Au. Can you imagine? He has 2 dogs playing upstairs every day that I always hear their steps running back and forth the house. The noise is around the clock and if this continues, I'm going to be crazy!!! Honey and I have not been sleeping well for a long time!
Of course, though I'm angry, I'm still under good control. I told him how annoying it is to hear all the noise and hope he can do something. Of course I understand what dog lovers think, but he must do something to reduce the negative influence his dogs caused to his neighbours. Or else, this is called selfish!
Oh, what should we do except moving out? God, please help!
Of course, though I'm angry, I'm still under good control. I told him how annoying it is to hear all the noise and hope he can do something. Of course I understand what dog lovers think, but he must do something to reduce the negative influence his dogs caused to his neighbours. Or else, this is called selfish!
Oh, what should we do except moving out? God, please help!
2009年7月2日 星期四
Gold Coast
Wow, yesterday morning, honey booked a delux room with seaview at Gold Coast Hotel in Tuen Mun and my impression towards Tuen Mun has changed totally.
It's an inevitable fact that both honey and I are too serious in life, we don't know how to play and relax. But frankly, we'd love to learn. It's a good start yesterday bcause honey took the initiative to make ourselves a relaxing holiday. We didn't join the 7.1 parade. We supported it deep in our hearts. Instead, we stayed in the hotel and tried to enjoy everything.
The room is big and has a stunning view and a giant balcony. Wow, when you step out on the balcony, you see a vast blue sky and beautiful sea. We saw planes flying over Lantau as well. It;s so comfortable. Sky in Kowloon is limited and blocked!!! I hate that! It has been such a long time that i really enjoy and relax. Thank God and I love you honeycheung. Thanks for the arrangement. We also went to the swimming pool and had a swim there. Of course honey could not swim at the moment, but it's cool to stay in the water and had sunbathing. I just wonder, why do we have to fly such a long way to Samui Island when you can find one in Hong Kong. Of course, the food in Thailand is cheaper. But when honey needs enough rest before heading for any journey abroad, Gold Coast is a wonderful choice.
This morning, I woke up quite early at 8.30. I just wanted to stroll around the area. Though I'd love to walk to the Gold Dolphin Square, I didn't because it's too far away under the bright, hot sun. Anyway, I went back to the shopping mall we visited last night. When I arrived, I saw something wonderful. It was a fish jumping out of the water again and again. It's just like flying. Wow!!! It's amazing! What a lovely scene. Then, a man, looks like a Pakistan, came to me and asked me what time it was. I told him the time in English and he spoke in his own langauge that I don't know. However, it seemed that I could understand him, I showed him my mobile phone clock. He's happy and went back to the bench chair to enjoy the morning sun. Later, he shouted and signalled me to sit beside him. I just smiled back and moving my head to tell me that no need. (Though he's friendly, it's still dangerous in sit beside somebody who is a total stranger to you when there's nobody around.) Everything seems so tranquil. Thank God for your creation. I've just found that Tuen Mun is not a bad place. Gold Coast is bravo! Then, I went to Cha Chan Tang and 7-11 to buy honey his favouite breakfast and newspapers respectively. I walked back to the hotel with a happy heart after that.
Hm...what a nice holiday!
It's an inevitable fact that both honey and I are too serious in life, we don't know how to play and relax. But frankly, we'd love to learn. It's a good start yesterday bcause honey took the initiative to make ourselves a relaxing holiday. We didn't join the 7.1 parade. We supported it deep in our hearts. Instead, we stayed in the hotel and tried to enjoy everything.
The room is big and has a stunning view and a giant balcony. Wow, when you step out on the balcony, you see a vast blue sky and beautiful sea. We saw planes flying over Lantau as well. It;s so comfortable. Sky in Kowloon is limited and blocked!!! I hate that! It has been such a long time that i really enjoy and relax. Thank God and I love you honeycheung. Thanks for the arrangement. We also went to the swimming pool and had a swim there. Of course honey could not swim at the moment, but it's cool to stay in the water and had sunbathing. I just wonder, why do we have to fly such a long way to Samui Island when you can find one in Hong Kong. Of course, the food in Thailand is cheaper. But when honey needs enough rest before heading for any journey abroad, Gold Coast is a wonderful choice.
This morning, I woke up quite early at 8.30. I just wanted to stroll around the area. Though I'd love to walk to the Gold Dolphin Square, I didn't because it's too far away under the bright, hot sun. Anyway, I went back to the shopping mall we visited last night. When I arrived, I saw something wonderful. It was a fish jumping out of the water again and again. It's just like flying. Wow!!! It's amazing! What a lovely scene. Then, a man, looks like a Pakistan, came to me and asked me what time it was. I told him the time in English and he spoke in his own langauge that I don't know. However, it seemed that I could understand him, I showed him my mobile phone clock. He's happy and went back to the bench chair to enjoy the morning sun. Later, he shouted and signalled me to sit beside him. I just smiled back and moving my head to tell me that no need. (Though he's friendly, it's still dangerous in sit beside somebody who is a total stranger to you when there's nobody around.) Everything seems so tranquil. Thank God for your creation. I've just found that Tuen Mun is not a bad place. Gold Coast is bravo! Then, I went to Cha Chan Tang and 7-11 to buy honey his favouite breakfast and newspapers respectively. I walked back to the hotel with a happy heart after that.
Hm...what a nice holiday!
2009年7月1日 星期三
My childhood
I just cried when I heard this song...
Childhood--Michael Jackson
Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for the world that I come from
'Cause I've been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart...
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities...
'Cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me...
People say I'm not okay
'Cause I love such elementary things...
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood
I've never known...
Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne...
Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?
People say I'm strange that way
'Cause I love such elementary things,
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood I've never known...
Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like fantastical stories to share
The dreams I would dare, watch me fly...
Before you judge me, try hard to love me.
The painful youth I've had
Have you seen my Childhood...
It's a touching song. Lucky that I viewed the 60 mins on youtube and found that MJ wrote this song that reflects the very bottom feelings of his heart. He's such a poor kid who yearns for love. The DJ's right. He's home now. He's now in the arms of Jesus who will compensate what he didn't have on earth: parental love, acceptance and respect from the media. He must be very tired and exhausted. God, may you love him and let him have peace in your love...Amen.
Lucky that I have a happy childhood. I still have lots of happy memories to taste. Thank God that ka chun can share most with me.
MJ has such a beautiful, "childlike", angel voice. Would it be a gift from God to compensate him for the lost of his childhood?
Childhood--Michael Jackson
Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for the world that I come from
'Cause I've been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart...
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities...
'Cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me...
People say I'm not okay
'Cause I love such elementary things...
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood
I've never known...
Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne...
Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?
People say I'm strange that way
'Cause I love such elementary things,
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood I've never known...
Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like fantastical stories to share
The dreams I would dare, watch me fly...
Before you judge me, try hard to love me.
The painful youth I've had
Have you seen my Childhood...
It's a touching song. Lucky that I viewed the 60 mins on youtube and found that MJ wrote this song that reflects the very bottom feelings of his heart. He's such a poor kid who yearns for love. The DJ's right. He's home now. He's now in the arms of Jesus who will compensate what he didn't have on earth: parental love, acceptance and respect from the media. He must be very tired and exhausted. God, may you love him and let him have peace in your love...Amen.
Lucky that I have a happy childhood. I still have lots of happy memories to taste. Thank God that ka chun can share most with me.
MJ has such a beautiful, "childlike", angel voice. Would it be a gift from God to compensate him for the lost of his childhood?
I hate you
快樂往往不是來自擁有得多,而是計較得少.
Happiness is not to own a lot but do not haggle over too much.
你當倚靠耶和華而行善, 住在地上, 以他的信實為糧. 詩37:7
Trust in Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Psalms 37:3
Clara recently has started to send me scripts every day...The verse I received today is reminding me something. Yeah, I'm an unhappy person for too many years since 13 years old. I want to stop and be a happy person, I just don't know how. Whenever I think of mom & dad, I panick and feel worried. When I look at my younger bro and sis, I can feel the weigh on my shoulders. They have to grow up, be practical, independant and responsible for their own lives. So do I. I have to let go. There is no point in wasting time in being depressed. Do I choose it? I just feel that I am losing hope and energy in life.
Today, I felt nervous to meet Grace again coz I didn't want to mention about all the unhappy things happened in the past few months. The most painful fact is that I seem to learn nothing?! I haven't grown up at all. Health seems to deterioate, husband's lumbar problem, staying in hospital for weeks, helping husband to ease the pain by massages though I feel tired sometimes, losing my baby again...Grace seems to gain a lot. I really envy! I'm tired of everything. I don't want to pray and don't know how to pray...I'm tired of hearing Grace mention about how God gives her answers, how grateful she is in life...I start to feel sick of it! I just don't want to meet her anymore. I feel like crying today the feeling of helplssness comes back and I realize I have no one to talk to. I feel very lonely. I have talked to YOU, but so what!
But I'm contradicting. I know I have nothing if I leave YOU, I know I'm weak now. What should I do??? It's frustrating to think about what I should do in the future. I have no confidence and direction at all. It seems to me that I have no more mission in teaching. I really hate that! I'm tired of being ill-treated by this profession. I hate Coconut. I worked so hard to be a good, responsible teacher but she always find faults and play office politics on nice teachers. I hate the NP2C principal, she told lies and made me a supply teacher and lose the providant fund. She made use of me to take up another class so that she could save money for hiring a supply teacher. She burnt me out for teaching 3 full classes English, drama and geography. I hate myself for not knowing how to confront with people. I hate principal Cheng for trusting students instead of recognising my effort made there. I hate myself for losing confidence in teaching that F.3 class. I hate Mrs Leung for pushing me to teach 3B that year and I was burn-out because of all these! I hate my mom for her torturing us mentally, emotionally and physically. I hate my dad for being cowardice in protecting himself and us and spoiling mom. I HATE all these DAMN things!!!I hate myself for losing hope in life...
Happiness is not to own a lot but do not haggle over too much.
你當倚靠耶和華而行善, 住在地上, 以他的信實為糧. 詩37:7
Trust in Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Psalms 37:3
Clara recently has started to send me scripts every day...The verse I received today is reminding me something. Yeah, I'm an unhappy person for too many years since 13 years old. I want to stop and be a happy person, I just don't know how. Whenever I think of mom & dad, I panick and feel worried. When I look at my younger bro and sis, I can feel the weigh on my shoulders. They have to grow up, be practical, independant and responsible for their own lives. So do I. I have to let go. There is no point in wasting time in being depressed. Do I choose it? I just feel that I am losing hope and energy in life.
Today, I felt nervous to meet Grace again coz I didn't want to mention about all the unhappy things happened in the past few months. The most painful fact is that I seem to learn nothing?! I haven't grown up at all. Health seems to deterioate, husband's lumbar problem, staying in hospital for weeks, helping husband to ease the pain by massages though I feel tired sometimes, losing my baby again...Grace seems to gain a lot. I really envy! I'm tired of everything. I don't want to pray and don't know how to pray...I'm tired of hearing Grace mention about how God gives her answers, how grateful she is in life...I start to feel sick of it! I just don't want to meet her anymore. I feel like crying today the feeling of helplssness comes back and I realize I have no one to talk to. I feel very lonely. I have talked to YOU, but so what!
But I'm contradicting. I know I have nothing if I leave YOU, I know I'm weak now. What should I do??? It's frustrating to think about what I should do in the future. I have no confidence and direction at all. It seems to me that I have no more mission in teaching. I really hate that! I'm tired of being ill-treated by this profession. I hate Coconut. I worked so hard to be a good, responsible teacher but she always find faults and play office politics on nice teachers. I hate the NP2C principal, she told lies and made me a supply teacher and lose the providant fund. She made use of me to take up another class so that she could save money for hiring a supply teacher. She burnt me out for teaching 3 full classes English, drama and geography. I hate myself for not knowing how to confront with people. I hate principal Cheng for trusting students instead of recognising my effort made there. I hate myself for losing confidence in teaching that F.3 class. I hate Mrs Leung for pushing me to teach 3B that year and I was burn-out because of all these! I hate my mom for her torturing us mentally, emotionally and physically. I hate my dad for being cowardice in protecting himself and us and spoiling mom. I HATE all these DAMN things!!!I hate myself for losing hope in life...
2009年6月19日 星期五
5 people you meet in heaven
Last night, I watched "Five People You Meet in Heaven" with honey husband. Actually, when I tried to find the book, I've discovered that it was bought in October, 2004. I remember I was working at NP2C at that time and only finished reading the first chapter. After that, this book was put right away.
It's really a nice, inspiring film. I think I prefer watching films to reading, most of the time. I quite enjoy the visual stimulation and presentation of the book. (Maybe I am lazy to have the imagery in my mind!) And I wonder who I will meet in heaven. I told HH that I will meet I a little bird that I killed when I was very small. I felt guilty of it. I tried to take it for a bath and drown it. How evil I was! Little bird, I am sorry!
Just like what the Bible mentions, you will bring the unfinished business to heaven. If the heaven is like what is being shown in the film, that's quite nice. The five people will help you figure out the question marks in life and untangle your mess, frustrations and worries in life and finally, you will be set free as a bird (maybe a Fung Wang) and go back to Lord father with love.
My Favourite Quotations:
It's really a nice, inspiring film. I think I prefer watching films to reading, most of the time. I quite enjoy the visual stimulation and presentation of the book. (Maybe I am lazy to have the imagery in my mind!) And I wonder who I will meet in heaven. I told HH that I will meet I a little bird that I killed when I was very small. I felt guilty of it. I tried to take it for a bath and drown it. How evil I was! Little bird, I am sorry!
Just like what the Bible mentions, you will bring the unfinished business to heaven. If the heaven is like what is being shown in the film, that's quite nice. The five people will help you figure out the question marks in life and untangle your mess, frustrations and worries in life and finally, you will be set free as a bird (maybe a Fung Wang) and go back to Lord father with love.
My Favourite Quotations:
- "We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves."
- "All the people you meet here have one thing to teach you." Eddie was skeptical. His fists stayed clenched. "What?" he said. "That there are no random acts. That we are all connected. That you can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind."
- "Fairness doesn't govern life and death. For if it did, no good man would ever die young."
- "It is because the spirit knows deep down that all lives intersect. That death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else. And in that small distance, lives are changed."
"One withers, another grows." - "Each affects the other and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one."
- "Strangers," the Blue Man said,"are just family you have yet to come to know."
- "No life is a waste," the Blue Man said. "The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone."
- "All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped."
- "That's what heaven is. You get to make sense of your yesterdays."
This poem is forwarded by Clara...a thought-provoking one:>
This is a poem written by a teenager with cancer.She wants to see how many people get her poem. It is quite the poem Please pass it on.This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital .It was sent bya medical doctor - Make sure to read what is in the closing statement AFTER THE POEM.
SLOW DANCE
Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down..
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask
How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,'Hi'
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.
FORWARDED E-MAILS ARE TRACKED TO OBTAIN THE TOTAL COUNT.
Dear All:
PLEASE pass this mail on to everyone you know - even to those you don't know!
It is the request of a special girl who will soon leave this world due to cancer.This young girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a letter telling everyone to live their life to the fullest, since she never will. She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high school, or get married and have a family of her own.By you sending this to as many people as possible, you can give her and her family a little hope, because with every name that this is sent to, The American Cancer Society will donate 3 cents per name to her treatment and recovery plan. One guy sent this to 500 people! So I know that we can at least send it to 5 or 6. It'snot even your money, just your time!
PLEASE PASS ON AS A LAST REQUEST.
Dr. Dennis Shields, ProfessorDepartment of Developmental and Molecular Biology1300 Morris Park AvenueBronx , New Yor k 10461
This is a poem written by a teenager with cancer.She wants to see how many people get her poem. It is quite the poem Please pass it on.This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital .It was sent bya medical doctor - Make sure to read what is in the closing statement AFTER THE POEM.
SLOW DANCE
Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down..
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask
How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,'Hi'
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.
FORWARDED E-MAILS ARE TRACKED TO OBTAIN THE TOTAL COUNT.
Dear All:
PLEASE pass this mail on to everyone you know - even to those you don't know!
It is the request of a special girl who will soon leave this world due to cancer.This young girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a letter telling everyone to live their life to the fullest, since she never will. She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high school, or get married and have a family of her own.By you sending this to as many people as possible, you can give her and her family a little hope, because with every name that this is sent to, The American Cancer Society will donate 3 cents per name to her treatment and recovery plan. One guy sent this to 500 people! So I know that we can at least send it to 5 or 6. It'snot even your money, just your time!
PLEASE PASS ON AS A LAST REQUEST.
Dr. Dennis Shields, ProfessorDepartment of Developmental and Molecular Biology1300 Morris Park AvenueBronx , New Yor k 10461
2009年5月23日 星期六
The lesson of trust...
Dear Lord
I know you want me to learn the lesson of faith...okay, I'll trust in YOU and Dr Yip and I know in times honey husband will get healed. I trust YOU because YOU are a healing God:)
galilamlam
P.S. Please also teach me how to trust, thank YOU!
I know you want me to learn the lesson of faith...okay, I'll trust in YOU and Dr Yip and I know in times honey husband will get healed. I trust YOU because YOU are a healing God:)
galilamlam
P.S. Please also teach me how to trust, thank YOU!
2009年5月20日 星期三
Thank YOU...
Dear Lord
Thank YOU for listening! Thank YOU for all the angels YOU sent to Johnny and me. Thank YOU for letting us know Dr. R. Yip. Thank YOU for arranging Johnny such a big room to rest well. Please continue to protect us and deliver us from evil. Amen.
Galilamlam
Thank YOU for listening! Thank YOU for all the angels YOU sent to Johnny and me. Thank YOU for letting us know Dr. R. Yip. Thank YOU for arranging Johnny such a big room to rest well. Please continue to protect us and deliver us from evil. Amen.
Galilamlam
2009年5月19日 星期二
heal me Oh Lord...
Heal me oh Lord and I will be healed
save me and I will be saved
heal me oh Lord and I'll be healed
for YOU are the one I pray
YOU are the one I pray
God said in his word that HE is a god who would heal us, HE is a healing god
But I know you might have a question about why this person or that person doesn't get healed
I have questions
but that doesn't change the fact that God said HE is a healing god
And God and his word are one that
no one here would doubt that God came into this room and touch you would heal
same thing can happen if his word touches you
HIS power is in HIS words
HIS power to heal in HIS words
HIS power to save in HIS words
HIS power to deliver you from that hopeless situation
Let's put HIS words on our lips
and sing it back to HIM tonight
Heal me Oh Lord and I will be healed
save me and I'll be saved
Oh heal me oh Lord and I will be healed for YOU are the one I pray
YOU are the one I pray
YOU are the one I pray
we prasie you
we prasie you Lord Jesus
that your healing power is flown in every person
Let it flow like rivers
his power to heal in his word
Amen
save me and I will be saved
heal me oh Lord and I'll be healed
for YOU are the one I pray
YOU are the one I pray
God said in his word that HE is a god who would heal us, HE is a healing god
But I know you might have a question about why this person or that person doesn't get healed
I have questions
but that doesn't change the fact that God said HE is a healing god
And God and his word are one that
no one here would doubt that God came into this room and touch you would heal
same thing can happen if his word touches you
HIS power is in HIS words
HIS power to heal in HIS words
HIS power to save in HIS words
HIS power to deliver you from that hopeless situation
Let's put HIS words on our lips
and sing it back to HIM tonight
Heal me Oh Lord and I will be healed
save me and I'll be saved
Oh heal me oh Lord and I will be healed for YOU are the one I pray
YOU are the one I pray
YOU are the one I pray
we prasie you
we prasie you Lord Jesus
that your healing power is flown in every person
Let it flow like rivers
his power to heal in his word
Amen
God will make a way...
HE works in way we cannot see
HE will be my guide hold me closely to HIS side
HE hasn't forgot my situation because my name is inscribed in HIS palm
with love and strength for each new day
HE will make a way...
Lord father
I'm worried about my husband, he's admitting to the hospital and having surgery...GOD, please heal Johnny and protect HIM from any harm. Please show HIM your mercy and grace, grant him peace in heart. Thank you LORD.
I'm worried about my sister when sometimes she doesn't answer the phone call..I would immediately think that it is her boyfriend who makes her feel unhappy and crazy...Maybe I care about her so much that sometimes I would overact. I don't know what to do. Where should I stand? When should I interfere? To what extent should I help her? Can YOU tell me?
I'm worried about mom, dad n little brother. I think mom is evil in the way that she always gamble because she feels lonely and lost. She blames the whole world for causing her such feelings and situations. She scolds and hits. She curses and hates. When she loses in her gambling, she would force dad n little brother even harder to work days and nights. She would force little brother to give her more money for gambling, if not, she would hit dad as her punchbag instead.
I'm worried about my future...when will I be bounced back and recover? I want to resume work but not sure if I can be a teacher anymore...I want to have a house, a car...so that my family can live in it happily and harmoniously...so that I can take them anywhere they like to have family days...
I'm so afraid to think about being a mother now...so just don't think about it...
Anyway, I will put my trust in YOU knowing that YOU will set us free...
I will sing and I will praise because YOU are worth-prasing even in my darkest hours through the sorrow and the pain...because your word is true!
HE will be my guide hold me closely to HIS side
HE hasn't forgot my situation because my name is inscribed in HIS palm
with love and strength for each new day
HE will make a way...
Lord father
I'm worried about my husband, he's admitting to the hospital and having surgery...GOD, please heal Johnny and protect HIM from any harm. Please show HIM your mercy and grace, grant him peace in heart. Thank you LORD.
I'm worried about my sister when sometimes she doesn't answer the phone call..I would immediately think that it is her boyfriend who makes her feel unhappy and crazy...Maybe I care about her so much that sometimes I would overact. I don't know what to do. Where should I stand? When should I interfere? To what extent should I help her? Can YOU tell me?
I'm worried about mom, dad n little brother. I think mom is evil in the way that she always gamble because she feels lonely and lost. She blames the whole world for causing her such feelings and situations. She scolds and hits. She curses and hates. When she loses in her gambling, she would force dad n little brother even harder to work days and nights. She would force little brother to give her more money for gambling, if not, she would hit dad as her punchbag instead.
I'm worried about my future...when will I be bounced back and recover? I want to resume work but not sure if I can be a teacher anymore...I want to have a house, a car...so that my family can live in it happily and harmoniously...so that I can take them anywhere they like to have family days...
I'm so afraid to think about being a mother now...so just don't think about it...
Anyway, I will put my trust in YOU knowing that YOU will set us free...
I will sing and I will praise because YOU are worth-prasing even in my darkest hours through the sorrow and the pain...because your word is true!
2009年5月10日 星期日
i feel depressed...
I feel like crying when facing so many things that seem not to be able to be solved or find a way out...What are they?
- I don't want to see my husband get depressed due to his lumbar pain. I want to see him happy and recovered.
- I don't want to please my mom anymore because i am really getting tired to do so...It is disgusting to see her repeated destructive, obssessive behaviour...I want to see her get healed.
- I also feel disgusted to know about the things that dad has done, don't know whether it's the cause or the result of mom's continuous tortorous behaviour. Can there be a way out? Our family needs saviour and light of hope.
- I also feel sick of it to see my sis waste time on the destructive relationship she has...She doesn't love herslf at all, she doesn't respect her own feelings and the crying deep inside her heart either.
- I feel painful in heart to see all those poor people suffer from the lost of their family members in the 5.12 earthquake. It's not totally natural disaster...
- I feel angry to read/watch the news about the finalised, actual death polls of students in the earthquake released by those "officers without conscience"...how would jesus feel? Would he feel the same way as mine, too? What would jesus do?
- I feel broken-hearted to see those moms/dads crying for justice for their lost children...Can those who dominate also dominate real justice? Can justice be dominated?
- I feel guilty to sit comfortably on the couch reading about all these news especially the ones about the massacre 20 years ago!
- Sometimes, I feel lost about my belief because many things happened cannot be justified or rationalized! It seems that the belief my brothers have can help them to get released about the unknown miseries happened in life! Is that true? Shouldn't the belief I have the ultimate one that can console us most or it is just because of my limited knowledge or ignorance towards it?
- I feel that the heart of my motherland is boiled with anger from injustice, deceit, selfishness, unfairness...all these will explose in time...just like Dante's Peak!
- I feel that my heart is aching with tears...things are falling apart but I don't want to fall apart! Can YOU help?
- I feel weak and impotent to see the reality...
- I feel like crying...
2009年4月24日 星期五
2009年4月23日 星期四
2009年4月22日 星期三
Please empower me...
When I was small, there was an exciting comics called Heman. When he wanted to beat the bad guys down, he would seek power by saying, "Skull Castle, please grant me power! 請骷髏頭堡賜我力量！" I really need power now, please empower me, GOD!
*picture taken from: http://www.comicsbulletin.com/news/images/0304/heman.jpg
Mom just came back from the US...
My sis just called and she was crying. I felt so sad and broken-hearted to hear that. She couldn't sleep for the whole night due to my mom's emotion explosion next room! Dad was again suffering from her lost of control in everything for the whole night, verbal abuse, physical abuse...What can he do, as usual? Tolerance! Is this called love or cowardice or innocence or fragile? She told me that she felt very painful, so was my younger bro. He said that it was intolerable because the air was filled with horror and fear. He heard my mom shout, scream and hit, mention about the "fox woman", accuse dad of losing her watch and earrings...Maybe all these are just her excuses or tactful tricks to shift our attention from her losing of money in gambling in the US. (Why not? It happens all the time!) I understand exactly how they felt because it was my usual daily experience when I was living in that house! I really don't want to see them suffer, to be frank, though my mom is the one who abuses, she also suffers. (Sometimes, I hate to be sympathetic...after all, who sympathizes us? This is the saying I often get from counsellors when they can do nothing to help! "remember, you mom is also a victim, forgive her!") We are all victims! I don't want to be one, I hate to be one. We all don't want to be ones!
I felt so angry that I really wanted to shout out loud, so loud that God could hear it! Can YOU hear me? Why my mom is like that? Why my dad always has to be abused and be the victim? Why my mom has such threatening, selfish characters? Why my mom doesn't face her own problems? Why God doesn't help? Can YOU hear me,? Can YOU help me? Can YOU help??? I feel so frustrated, worried and frightened that one day, my dad would burst into real anger...
I was anxious about my sis' situation and I called the praying heart hotline yesterday morning to seek help. I spent for, let say, nearly half an hour. It was indeed a kind of struggle and torture for me to recall all the bad, horrible experiences related to mom, but I did, hoping that the woman on the other side of the phone could really help. In the end, I felt a bit exhausted and insecure and ridiculous when she asked me whether I am a Christian, of course I am! Then, she told me that I should try my best to help my sister and pray for her, with her. Of course I did, I AM DOING SO, I will and I always do so! At last, she told me that there is no use for me to call her, it must be my sis to take the initiative to make the call for help so that they can arrange for a counselling session for her later, "but mind you, you have to wait for at least 6 weeks! Is that OK?" "SHIT!!!" I just felt so angry that I really want to scold her, but I didn't because there was no use in doing it! (I had already wasted my time and energy and hope!!! Why not saving them! ) Can you imagine? THIS IS CALLED HELP!
After the call from my sis and bro tonight, I called another hotline (和諧之家男士熱線) with desperate hope. The man didn't disappoint me, he did more or less the same thing as the woman did yesterday. He asked me lots of questions and details, but in the end, he still said that dad should call instead of me!!! He asked me to leave my phone number and name for reference. The last question he asked was how old I am! What?! He is called Mr Tsui! What a good helper! How come I've never learnt a lesson? Should I continue to waste my time? Why can't I learn to be more practical and cleverer? Should I trust that they are professionals who can really help us with life and death matters? No, I would seek every chance calling and asking for ways to help no matter what. I want a happy, healthy family. I want my famiily to be happy and healthy! I shouldn't give up. After all, I am in a better situation now than years ago, a girl who was fragile and desperate!
2009年4月19日 星期日
PLease send my family angels because we really need your blessings
Dear Lord Dad
You know my feelings, you know how I suffered under my mom's tyranny, endless verbal abuse and physical abuse, you know how hard I try to forgive my mom and love her because of your love, you know how much I want to be healed and be myself again, you know how much I want my parents to have good relationship, you know how much I care about my family, you know how much I want my mom to stop abusing us especially my dad, you know how much I want my mom to stop gambling, the money that earned by dad and brother with toil and sweat, you know how much I want my family to be happy and free of threatening and worries, you know how very much I want my mom to get healed, you know how much I want my little sister to love herself and be real strong again...YOU all know it and I know YOU would tell me to be patient beacuse YOU have your own time, I know and you know, I want to have a happy family...Amen.
Gali
2009年4月18日 星期六
please have mercy and grant my wishes...
Dear Lord Father,
Here is a wish list for my beloved ones:
- Please forgive all our sins that we don't have enough love towards YOU
- Please let my dad, mom and 2 brothers know you and taste your endless love
- Please let my mom be healed
- Please grant us peace, love and health
- Please take away my mom's devil selfish mind and sense of insecurity
- Please let my younger brother have energy, confidence and hope towards life again
- Please heal my youngest sister and let her have your vision to see life, work and love
- Please grant me hope and confidence towards life and work
- Please heal my husband and my younger brother's spines and lumbars
- Please protect my whole family from danger and deliver us from evil
- Plese grant me wisdom so that I can finish my MA course with sense of achievement...
Thank you for listening:)
Amen
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