2009年6月19日 星期五

5 people you meet in heaven

Last night, I watched "Five People You Meet in Heaven" with honey husband. Actually, when I tried to find the book, I've discovered that it was bought in October, 2004. I remember I was working at NP2C at that time and only finished reading the first chapter. After that, this book was put right away.

It's really a nice, inspiring film. I think I prefer watching films to reading, most of the time. I quite enjoy the visual stimulation and presentation of the book. (Maybe I am lazy to have the imagery in my mind!) And I wonder who I will meet in heaven. I told HH that I will meet I a little bird that I killed when I was very small. I felt guilty of it. I tried to take it for a bath and drown it. How evil I was! Little bird, I am sorry!

Just like what the Bible mentions, you will bring the unfinished business to heaven. If the heaven is like what is being shown in the film, that's quite nice. The five people will help you figure out the question marks in life and untangle your mess, frustrations and worries in life and finally, you will be set free as a bird (maybe a Fung Wang) and go back to Lord father with love.

My Favourite Quotations:
  • "We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves."
  • "All the people you meet here have one thing to teach you." Eddie was skeptical. His fists stayed clenched. "What?" he said. "That there are no random acts. That we are all connected. That you can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind."
  • "Fairness doesn't govern life and death. For if it did, no good man would ever die young."
  • "It is because the spirit knows deep down that all lives intersect. That death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else. And in that small distance, lives are changed."
    "One withers, another grows."
  • "Each affects the other and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one."
  • "Strangers," the Blue Man said,"are just family you have yet to come to know."
  • "No life is a waste," the Blue Man said. "The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone."
  • "All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped."
  • "That's what heaven is. You get to make sense of your yesterdays."
This poem is forwarded by Clara...a thought-provoking one:>

This is a poem written by a teenager with cancer.She wants to see how many people get her poem. It is quite the poem Please pass it on.This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital .It was sent bya medical doctor - Make sure to read what is in the closing statement AFTER THE POEM.

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down..
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask
How are you?
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,'Hi'
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

FORWARDED E-MAILS ARE TRACKED TO OBTAIN THE TOTAL COUNT.
Dear All:
PLEASE pass this mail on to everyone you know - even to those you don't know!
It is the request of a special girl who will soon leave this world due to cancer.This young girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a letter telling everyone to live their life to the fullest, since she never will. She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high school, or get married and have a family of her own.By you sending this to as many people as possible, you can give her and her family a little hope, because with every name that this is sent to, The American Cancer Society will donate 3 cents per name to her treatment and recovery plan. One guy sent this to 500 people! So I know that we can at least send it to 5 or 6. It'snot even your money, just your time!
PLEASE PASS ON AS A LAST REQUEST.
Dr. Dennis Shields, ProfessorDepartment of Developmental and Molecular Biology1300 Morris Park AvenueBronx , New Yor k 10461

2009年5月23日 星期六

The lesson of trust...

Dear Lord
I know you want me to learn the lesson of faith...okay, I'll trust in YOU and Dr Yip and I know in times honey husband will get healed. I trust YOU because YOU are a healing God:)
galilamlam
P.S. Please also teach me how to trust, thank YOU!

2009年5月20日 星期三

Thank YOU...

Dear Lord
Thank YOU for listening! Thank YOU for all the angels YOU sent to Johnny and me. Thank YOU for letting us know Dr. R. Yip. Thank YOU for arranging Johnny such a big room to rest well. Please continue to protect us and deliver us from evil. Amen.
Galilamlam

2009年5月19日 星期二

heal me Oh Lord...

Heal me oh Lord and I will be healed
save me and I will be saved
heal me oh Lord and I'll be healed
for YOU are the one I pray
YOU are the one I pray
God said in his word that HE is a god who would heal us, HE is a healing god
But I know you might have a question about why this person or that person doesn't get healed
I have questions
but that doesn't change the fact that God said HE is a healing god
And God and his word are one that
no one here would doubt that God came into this room and touch you would heal
same thing can happen if his word touches you
HIS power is in HIS words
HIS power to heal in HIS words
HIS power to save in HIS words
HIS power to deliver you from that hopeless situation
Let's put HIS words on our lips
and sing it back to HIM tonight
Heal me Oh Lord and I will be healed
save me and I'll be saved
Oh heal me oh Lord and I will be healed for YOU are the one I pray
YOU are the one I pray
YOU are the one I pray
we prasie you
we prasie you Lord Jesus
that your healing power is flown in every person
Let it flow like rivers
his power to heal in his word
Amen

God will make a way...

HE works in way we cannot see
HE will be my guide hold me closely to HIS side
HE hasn't forgot my situation because my name is inscribed in HIS palm
with love and strength for each new day
HE will make a way...

Lord father

I'm worried about my husband, he's admitting to the hospital and having surgery...GOD, please heal Johnny and protect HIM from any harm. Please show HIM your mercy and grace, grant him peace in heart. Thank you LORD.

I'm worried about my sister when sometimes she doesn't answer the phone call..I would immediately think that it is her boyfriend who makes her feel unhappy and crazy...Maybe I care about her so much that sometimes I would overact. I don't know what to do. Where should I stand? When should I interfere? To what extent should I help her? Can YOU tell me?
I'm worried about mom, dad n little brother. I think mom is evil in the way that she always gamble because she feels lonely and lost. She blames the whole world for causing her such feelings and situations. She scolds and hits. She curses and hates. When she loses in her gambling, she would force dad n little brother even harder to work days and nights. She would force little brother to give her more money for gambling, if not, she would hit dad as her punchbag instead.

I'm worried about my future...when will I be bounced back and recover? I want to resume work but not sure if I can be a teacher anymore...I want to have a house, a car...so that my family can live in it happily and harmoniously...so that I can take them anywhere they like to have family days...

I'm so afraid to think about being a mother now...so just don't think about it...

Anyway, I will put my trust in YOU knowing that YOU will set us free...

I will sing and I will praise because YOU are worth-prasing even in my darkest hours through the sorrow and the pain...because your word is true!

2009年5月10日 星期日

i feel depressed...

I feel like crying when facing so many things that seem not to be able to be solved or find a way out...What are they?
  • I don't want to see my husband get depressed due to his lumbar pain. I want to see him happy and recovered.
  • I don't want to please my mom anymore because i am really getting tired to do so...It is disgusting to see her repeated destructive, obssessive behaviour...I want to see her get healed.
  • I also feel disgusted to know about the things that dad has done, don't know whether it's the cause or the result of mom's continuous tortorous behaviour. Can there be a way out? Our family needs saviour and light of hope.
  • I also feel sick of it to see my sis waste time on the destructive relationship she has...She doesn't love herslf at all, she doesn't respect her own feelings and the crying deep inside her heart either.
  • I feel painful in heart to see all those poor people suffer from the lost of their family members in the 5.12 earthquake. It's not totally natural disaster...
  • I feel angry to read/watch the news about the finalised, actual death polls of students in the earthquake released by those "officers without conscience"...how would jesus feel? Would he feel the same way as mine, too? What would jesus do?
  • I feel broken-hearted to see those moms/dads crying for justice for their lost children...Can those who dominate also dominate real justice? Can justice be dominated?
  • I feel guilty to sit comfortably on the couch reading about all these news especially the ones about the massacre 20 years ago!
  • Sometimes, I feel lost about my belief because many things happened cannot be justified or rationalized! It seems that the belief my brothers have can help them to get released about the unknown miseries happened in life! Is that true? Shouldn't the belief I have the ultimate one that can console us most or it is just because of my limited knowledge or ignorance towards it?
  • I feel that the heart of my motherland is boiled with anger from injustice, deceit, selfishness, unfairness...all these will explose in time...just like Dante's Peak!
  • I feel that my heart is aching with tears...things are falling apart but I don't want to fall apart! Can YOU help?
  • I feel weak and impotent to see the reality...
  • I feel like crying...

2009年4月23日 星期四

2009年4月22日 星期三

Please empower me...

When I was small, there was an exciting comics called Heman. When he wanted to beat the bad guys down, he would seek power by saying, "Skull Castle, please grant me power! 請骷髏頭堡賜我力量!"

I really need power now, please empower me, GOD!


Mom just came back from the US...

My sis just called and she was crying. I felt so sad and broken-hearted to hear that. She couldn't sleep for the whole night due to my mom's emotion explosion next room! Dad was again suffering from her lost of control in everything for the whole night, verbal abuse, physical abuse...What can he do, as usual? Tolerance! Is this called love or cowardice or innocence or fragile? She told me that she felt very painful, so was my younger bro. He said that it was intolerable because the air was filled with horror and fear. He heard my mom shout, scream and hit, mention about the "fox woman", accuse dad of losing her watch and earrings...Maybe all these are just her excuses or tactful tricks to shift our attention from her losing of money in gambling in the US. (Why not? It happens all the time!) I understand exactly how they felt because it was my usual daily experience when I was living in that house! I really don't want to see them suffer, to be frank, though my mom is the one who abuses, she also suffers. (Sometimes, I hate to be sympathetic...after all, who sympathizes us? This is the saying I often get from counsellors when they can do nothing to help! "remember, you mom is also a victim, forgive her!") We are all victims! I don't want to be one, I hate to be one. We all don't want to be ones!

I felt so angry that I really wanted to shout out loud, so loud that God could hear it! Can YOU hear me? Why my mom is like that? Why my dad always has to be abused and be the victim? Why my mom has such threatening, selfish characters? Why my mom doesn't face her own problems? Why God doesn't help? Can YOU hear me,? Can YOU help me? Can YOU help??? I feel so frustrated, worried and frightened that one day, my dad would burst into real anger...

I was anxious about my sis' situation and I called the praying heart hotline yesterday morning to seek help. I spent for, let say, nearly half an hour. It was indeed a kind of struggle and torture for me to recall all the bad, horrible experiences related to mom, but I did, hoping that the woman on the other side of the phone could really help. In the end, I felt a bit exhausted and insecure and ridiculous when she asked me whether I am a Christian, of course I am! Then, she told me that I should try my best to help my sister and pray for her, with her. Of course I did, I AM DOING SO, I will and I always do so! At last, she told me that there is no use for me to call her, it must be my sis to take the initiative to make the call for help so that they can arrange for a counselling session for her later, "but mind you, you have to wait for at least 6 weeks! Is that OK?" "SHIT!!!" I just felt so angry that I really want to scold her, but I didn't because there was no use in doing it! (I had already wasted my time and energy and hope!!! Why not saving them! ) Can you imagine? THIS IS CALLED HELP!

After the call from my sis and bro tonight, I called another hotline (和諧之家男士熱線) with desperate hope. The man didn't disappoint me, he did more or less the same thing as the woman did yesterday. He asked me lots of questions and details, but in the end, he still said that dad should call instead of me!!! He asked me to leave my phone number and name for reference. The last question he asked was how old I am! What?! He is called Mr Tsui! What a good helper! How come I've never learnt a lesson? Should I continue to waste my time? Why can't I learn to be more practical and cleverer? Should I trust that they are professionals who can really help us with life and death matters? No, I would seek every chance calling and asking for ways to help no matter what. I want a happy, healthy family. I want my famiily to be happy and healthy! I shouldn't give up. After all, I am in a better situation now than years ago, a girl who was fragile and desperate!

2009年4月19日 星期日

PLease send my family angels because we really need your blessings

Dear Lord Dad

You know my feelings, you know how I suffered under my mom's tyranny, endless verbal abuse and physical abuse, you know how hard I try to forgive my mom and love her because of your love, you know how much I want to be healed and be myself again, you know how much I want my parents to have good relationship, you know how much I care about my family, you know how much I want my mom to stop abusing us especially my dad, you know how much I want my mom to stop gambling, the money that earned by dad and brother with toil and sweat, you know how much I want my family to be happy and free of threatening and worries, you know how very much I want my mom to get healed, you know how much I want my little sister to love herself and be real strong again...YOU all know it and I know YOU would tell me to be patient beacuse YOU have your own time, I know and you know, I want to have a happy family...Amen.
Gali

2009年4月18日 星期六

please have mercy and grant my wishes...


Dear Lord Father,

Here is a wish list for my beloved ones:


  • Please forgive all our sins that we don't have enough love towards YOU

  • Please let my dad, mom and 2 brothers know you and taste your endless love

  • Please let my mom be healed

  • Please grant us peace, love and health

  • Please take away my mom's devil selfish mind and sense of insecurity

  • Please let my younger brother have energy, confidence and hope towards life again

  • Please heal my youngest sister and let her have your vision to see life, work and love

  • Please grant me hope and confidence towards life and work

  • Please heal my husband and my younger brother's spines and lumbars

  • Please protect my whole family from danger and deliver us from evil

  • Plese grant me wisdom so that I can finish my MA course with sense of achievement...

Thank you for listening:)


Amen

2009年4月15日 星期三

Hot Pot Hohoho

Wow, what a release! I've just finished all my presentations despite the fact that there are still three more papers to come!

Well, Dad had it twice drove to Tai Po instead of CUHK directly! Why? What happened to him? Here is the answer: Tonight, we all went to have hot pot in San Kwong Fat, Shatin together, including me, dad, my handsome younger brother and my lovely younger sister. Mom called suddenly because she had dreamt about dad with the fox woman! Again! Dad started to feel frustrated and uneasy and of course, he asked my brother to claimed him innocence as he is always by my brother's side within a few feet! Can you imagine? After that call, the topic moved on to the costly IDD that mom made in the past and last night's sudden call. Well, last night, mom called from the US in the middle of the night and dad had to wake up quickly to answer the phone call and to entertain her. Actually, the longest call lasted for 4 hours according to Father's King Chou Record but last night, it was just a short period of time and then it was brother's turn because mom would like to clarify the cheque problems with him, luckily it lasted only for 15 minutes. But, what is the result/consequences? Today, dad looked a bit miserable and brother looked really tired. He had to sleep on the chair of the van for a nap in the afternoon. Hm...I understand now, no wonder!

Anyway, I still enjoy eating dinner with my family and it's nice having hot pot sometimes though it's not very healthy. A simple dinner w/ precious family time, that's call life! Thank God!

2009年4月4日 星期六

A song to Lord God

May the Lord show us his mercy
May the Lord take the lead
May the Lord grant us our wishes
May the Lord forgive our sin

2009年4月3日 星期五

They do hop!

Wow, what a night! I just couldn't help joining the rest of the audience to dance together. The last time was in Leslie's 2001 concert. The atmosphere was really great! It was so great that even the old lady sitting next to me also moved along and danced, wow!

It was my first time to watch Grasshoppers' concert and I think it's brilliant. They do hop! They hop high and well. They have enthusiasm, no guest singers but themselves only. They danced and sang throughout the whole concert and the presentation of the whole thing is just wonderful! Almost 95% of the songs are the songs of our teenage time and they just brought us back to the good old days! Thank grasshoppers. I can't believe that they are still as energetic as they were before. Next year would be their 25th anniversary; I cannot think of other reasons but passion for them to continue to sing and dance. I really appreciate their effort made. Of course "Lonely" is the song I enjoy most!

Thank God that I could really forget everything and enjoyed this big party with my honey husband. By the way, it was him who bought the tickets:>
Just to remind myself that next time, don't buy the RED section (range from 42-49) in the Coliseum because you will not be able to see the big screen but a giant string hanging in front of you blocking your view, remember!

2009年4月2日 星期四

Lamlam's devolution theory 退化論

Why man always thinks about evolution, why not devolution? Look at this world, a fallen one, things are falling apart and it is so hard for us to live happily and safely on earth. I always think that long time ago, there were a group of people who found it so harsh to live in this world, which is full of pain, killings, discrimination, deception, troubles, worries, poverty, exploitation, pollution, diseases, miseries and so on, that they no longer could tolerate, in the end, they just escaped from reality and went back to live in the wild and turned themselves into animals and lived like animals. God created man but because of the harsh reality, man turned themselves into baboons狒狒, chimpanzee黑猩猩, gorillas大猩猩, orangutans猩猩 and monkeys猴子 so that they no longer had to think nor worry about anything with their conscious minds. This is what I call, devolution or galilamlam's devolution theory. Haha:P

In short, the ancestors of baboons, chimpanzee, gorillas, orangutans ad monkeys are us, human beings. If you wonder why there are so many species, I can only explain two. All the bold men turned themselves into baboons; and all those who hated to look at this world with their usual ways permitted themselves to grow a tail and became monkeys so that they could look at the world from an upside-down angle in order to feel better. They would say, "We'd prefer eating bananas every day and enjoying our lives on the trees to living in this hell-like world!"

If you ask me which animal I'd prefer to regress myself, I'd choose to become a vegetarian eagle which can soar in the sky.

2009年4月1日 星期三

In memory of Leslie

At the moment of Leslie leaving us, I was playing badminton at the Police Recreation Club. Later, I heard the radio news reporter saying something that was hard to believe but had to! It was a full stop to one's life and a huge exclamation mark to all of us!

He was the first real idol that would make me crazy, but just a bit! We were still F.1 at that time and we needed to do something for the Xmas talent show. There should be six of us, good friends at that time, innocent but dare to show our real selves, when we performed one of his famous, popular songs, "Don't want to sleep (無心睡眠)". Let me see, it should be me, Maria, Miriam, Kitty, Fiona and who else? Would that be Carol? Just can't remember! We were so familiar with all the gestures used in the song and of course the song itself! In the end, we were, of course, not regarded as "talented" in this talent show but "rebellious" instead, I guess! It was supposed to have one performance from each class, but we had two because we couldn't tolerate the idea of singing "the Greatest Love of all" on stage. I remember for the rest of the class, they sang this song and, for sure, they were just like the very traditional, obedient, delicated, little roses in the eyes of all the teachers! I was proud not to be one, I was, guess what, a wild one, a more beautiful, colourful but tough one! (But it paid!)

The rent for my house in THA was just $100 a month and I would spend about $200 for a ticket of his concert, can you imagine? It was the idea of Dora. To my surprise, I found fans around me were crazier that they really needed to take pills! Were we still F.1 students? It was my first time to go for a concert. I got very excited and took lots of pics of him though I still wondered why he crept on the floor in his very tight swimming suit for a whole song!
The second concert was in 2001. I remember I went with Maria and who else? I couldn't believe the long-haired man was the one that I had loved before! Anyway, I was impressed by his song "Me" (我). Later, I understood why and what had happened to him.
He had a beautiful soul and wouldn't dare to hurt others but unfortunately, himself. He was the one and only who had such charisma on stage. He was gifted and real "talented".
I've learnt that we have to be consistent in and out and shouldn't hide the real me for long. I should voice out what I want and who I am. I should defend for myself with thorns whenever it's necessary!

2009年3月31日 星期二

Blowing my baby bloom balloon


It's kind of sarcasm when you hear about casual abortion by naive teenage girls. Where on earth can we find boundaries? Where on earth can we find commitment and responsibility? Where on earth can we build up more healthy families so that there are less tragedies?! Nevertheless, these girls may be victims themselves.

Those who long for babies would suffer from miscarriage, be forced to abort, wait for long...

My dear Lord God, may YOU grant the wishes of all the women who really want to be mothers, good, responsible mothers. May you have mercy on me so that I can be a mother one day, a beautiful, caring, lovely mother with lovable children. Thank YOU for listening. Amen.